


Fractured Understandings

by Grub2517



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, One Shot, father/son bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29900421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grub2517/pseuds/Grub2517
Summary: Simply assuming Hiccup’s life got all better after the Red Death nearly ends in tragedy. For the second time in three months Stoick is left to wonder how he could have been so boar headed, and failed to see his son’s perspective until it was almost too late.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Stoick the Vast
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Fractured Understandings

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I've had this on my mind for a while now and I finally wrote it, I know this scenario has been done many times but I wanted to take my own stab at it. To be honest I don't really like how the ending portion came out and I may re-write this entire thing at some point, but for now here it is.

Astrid stormed up the hill to the Great Hall, parting vikings like the bow of a ship as she went. Astrid was the valkyrie that everyone could see… but when she was on the warpath she was fiercer than a wild dragon, and Odin help anyone who stood in her way. She stormed up the steps, complete tunnel vision even blocking out Stormfly and the other riders as they questioned where she had been and what had happened. It didn’t matter that the council was in session… and nobody usually dared intrude… she was on a mission. She threw the doors open with all the fervor of Stoick himself, and was thoroughly disappointed as the council passed her only a brief glance. Anger rapidly building she stormed to the head of the table by Stoick, cutting off whatever discussion he was having… something about the impact of dragons on trade routes…

“Chief, we need to talk---”

“Respect, Astrid. This is a council meeting.”

  
At this point Astrid had had it. Stoick’s tone, pushing her off… pushing off his own _son_. Her own punishment, her own reputation be damned. She wasn’t going to let this village fall into the same cycle they had before he had saved all of them.

“Seriously, we ne--- Chief--- EVERYBODY!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!”

Astrid’s piercing roar silenced everybody in the room and left a poisonous silence.

“Astrid what in Odin’s name---”

“Are you listening now? You push me off almost as much as you do your own son.”

“Hiccup? Where’s he been, I’ve been looking for him all morning.”

Astrid almost took a swing when she heard that comment. So nonchalant, like nothing was wrong.

  
“Huh. Typical.”

“Is he alright?"

“Alright?! He just tried to kill himself!!”

Stoick’s expression suddenly shifted from rage to shock.

“What, you didn’t even know?! Have you people learned _anything_ since the great battle? Apparently not.”

As if he was important at all Spitelout decided to step in. Astrid didn’t let him.

“Astrid you stop right there---”

“So typical, Stoick. So focused on the politics and the village that you loose touch with your own son, and only realize that _after_ it costs you dearly”

Aside from Spitelout and a few hotheads, the rest of the council was petrified. There were several murmors and discussions, all generally asking ths same thing… why? Astrid felt such rage at that question, sometimes it seemed they really _were_ blind.

“Seriously? I’d say what did you expect?! You’ve been driving him so hard that he has nothing left in him. He’s almost worse off now than he was _back then._ ”

“Astrid how dare you say that! Now he’s loved, accepted he—“

“You accept the new ‘dragon tamer’ not Hiccup. And now since everyone comes to him with every little dragon problem they have the burden is all on _him._ And since me and his other freinds are all tied up with dragon duties, and the mighty _chief_ has to be a _chief_ over a father he has no other perspective!”

Astrid was _really_ taking a risk, directly slashing at Stoick like that in front of the council, but they needed to hear this. Stoick was still sitting wordless, face pale. She’d come this far already, 

“If what you say is true, Astrid why was he fine before now?”

“Does any adult in this village pay attention for more than five seconds?! Have you not seen how hard you’ve been driving him? The missed meals, missed sleep, _alone time?_ He’s been declining since he woke up, I’ve seen it and every dragon rider has, too. Hel, even the dragons are worried about him, have you not noticed?”

“Why has he—“

“You all have been relying on him so much you convinced him that _he_ is responsible for the dragon human relations here. And right now, he is convinced that the entire village is about to collapse and that he’s solely to blame! We all know that’s not true, but that’s what we’ve convinced Hiccup, and he’s taking the burden.”

As her rant carried on the council remained transfixed… whether that be from shock, or just scared straight she had no idea. She didn’t care either.

“I’m going back, and I’ll tell you something. He needs quiet. He needs to heal, and the next person who comes to that house looking for Hiccup will get an axe to the neck. If you guys won’t help him, I will.”

She didn’t even leave time for them to respond, stomping out of the Great Hall and leaving an immense void of silence in her wake. 

“That is, if the dragons don’t fire on you first.”

—————————————————

As Stoick walked up the hill to his house he felt… lost. A disturbingly common occurrence as of late, but never this bad. Before the war ended he knew exactly what to do in most situations, years of chiefing experience giving him confidence in his decisions… but now, since the dragons, since _Hiccup_ , he has had to play second in command to Hiccup and his riders. He didn’t like it, yet he had tried as hard as he could to be open minded and to mend the fractured relationship with his son… but now, just when he was starting to feel good about him, it felt like all that progress was suddenly erased. He felt like a blind, stubborn Viking once more. How in the world did he miss… everything? He knew Hiccup was working hard and losing sleep, but how had he missed the depression. Gods, he was his _father…_ yet he had missed all the signs as Hiccup nearly drove himself to suicide. He had literally worked himself to death… and Stoick didn’t see it. It’s moments like this that he begged for the gods forgiveness… for Valka’s forgiveness. He was trying… but gods he wasn’t trying hard enough…

Even getting close to his house he heard dragon growls and felt the disapproving stares, but he carried on. This was _his_ house and _his_ son, he needed to find out what was happening.

**  
  
**

As he approached he heard his son’s voice, followed by the returning sentiments from Astrid. He could barely make it out, but his son’s voice was so fragile and broken that it almost brought Stoick to tears. It was this sadness that finally prompted Stoick to round the corner, noting Hiccup sitting against his dragon with his knees to his chest, head down, Astrid mere inches away.

“—how do you explain that, Astrid?”

“Because you’re getting your information from Mildew.”

Ever observant, Astrid noticed Stoick’s presence before he made any tangible noise. Such a departure from the cold anger and frustration she had displayed only minutes before, Astrid had taken to gently comforting Hiccup. Caring for him in this vulnerable state, taking gentle strokes with extreme care as if she was kindling a dying fire. A dying fire… just seeing Hiccup like this really brought everything into perspective. Finally seeing Hiccup there, without that forced smile and dry humor, seeing him like this made everything snap into focus in a way he had not felt since the day the Red Death died. 

“Stoick?”Astrid’s acknowledgement also brought Hiccup’s head shooting up. Stoick winced just seeing his face... he was a wreck, bloodshot, tear stained eyes surrounded by skin darkened from days, maybe _weeks_ of no sleep. As if Hiccup’s physical state weren't bad enough, his response sent Stoick reeling

“Oh gods, dad… I’m… I’m sorry… I - I can’t—“

“And why would _you_ be sorry son?”

“I failed! Everybody’s up in arms, the dragons are still causing problems there’s only so much I can do…”

Hiccup threatened to break again, Astrid put an arm on his shoulder as he suddenly sobbed out all his emotion

“I’m sorry! I can’t be the great leader you want me to be! I can’t be _anything_ you want me to be-”

Astrid cuddled closer to Hiccup, cutting off his words in a muffled sob. Stoick just stood there, jaw slack. Even in light of all that happened couldn’t believe what he was hearing, 

“Son… how can…” Toothless purred reassuringly as Hiccup buried his head in his lap again. Astrid tried her best to comfort him, but he was clearly breaking down.

  
“Chief… it- It might help if you just leave...”

“Astrid—“

“With all due respect, there’s nothing really you can do right now. In fact you’re only adding more stress. Give him some time, come back tonight…”

  
Stoick wanted to counter this… somehow. He opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by a low growl from Toothless. That name had never been more deceiving than in moments like this… it was easy to forget when he was playfully bouncing around, but he was called Night _Fury_ for a reason. In that moment Stoick realized that he really didn’t have anything to say… so he just hung his head, and left without a word.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stoick had meant to have a full day today but, needless to say that just didn’t happen. After the abrupt end of the meeting, and then being shooed out of his own house for his son’s sake he’d spent most of the day just wandering the village. Everything else suddenly seemed unimportant as he shunned or delegated all of his normal tasks… he wasn’t even really doing anything himself just... pacing. It reminded him, in a very bad way, of the days after Valka was killed… when he, even with a village to rebuild just didn’t have it in him to do anything but pace and mourn. Hiccup didn’t even die, but this was different… different because _he_ was the one to blame. Not indirectly, like failing to get to Valka in time, but directly through his own ignorance and neglect. Things he had sworn would never happen again. The thoughts weighed heavily on him as he paced through the streets. Eventually, through no rhyme or reason he ended up at the smithy where Gobber’s rhythmic hammer blows echoed. They may not be fighting dragons, but Gobber still had to keep the weapons stockpile well maintained. 

“Ah! Stoick. Welcome. How is the day?”

“Well... couldn’t get any worse.”

Gobber, unaware of the day’s events thus far, was immediately snapped out of his cheery mood as Stoick responded. The chief had some hard days lately, but just the tenor of his voice reeked of something different, something _serious._

“Eh, might I ask—“

“Hiccup tried to kill ‘imself this mornin.”

Gobber’s hammer struck but then didn’t raise again causing a short but uneasy silence.

“Hate to say that I told ye Stoick, but I did try to tell you.”

Oh, right. Gobber had been the one person who seemed concerned about Hiccup’s rapidly increasing workload. And he had shoved it off as the smith’s paranoia…

“I… I thought you were the only one… the only one that realized—“

“It weren't just me, Stoick. I’m just the only one you took the time to listen to.”

“I was listening to _him!_ I thought he would be fine… he didn’t show any signs of stress, at least not to me…”

Gobber finally turned around, the metal having cooled too far to be worked anymore, was cast aside and gobber’s massive form sat down to take in Stoick at eye level. “And therein lies the problem.”

“How is _that_ the problem?”

“Stoick, Hiccup ain’t gonna tell anyone if he’s stressed, or injured, or depressed, he’ll just push through it. Like another Haddock I know.”

“But he’s smarter than that. Why would he literally work himself to death without saying anything?”

“He never would. Not to you especially.”

“ _Why_ though?”

Gobber let out a heavy sigh… as if he’d been dancing around a certain topic the whole time and is now facing it directly...

“Stoick… ye just don’t get it do you?”

“Gobber.”

“Listen… this is for your health and the lads, I ain’t malice toward ye.”

“Fine. Speak your mind.”

“The boy will never tell you because he’s afraid of you.”

“Wha-“

“Yer boy doesn’t know what unconditional love is, Stoick. He’s been under the villages feet his entire life, and now that he has some tiny glimmer of hope that people will accept him he’s terrified to lose that.”

“The people _do_ accept him—“

“As the dragon hero, Stoick. Not as Hiccup. He’s hoping that this dragon stuff will keep him out of the firin line long enough for people to see his merits as a person.”

The truth hit Stoick hard. It just reinforced and magnified all that he’d been feeling so far… he was a horrible father to begin with, and when he thought he had been doing the right thing this whole thing, he’d just been throwing Hiccup down an even deeper hole.

“He’s never known acceptance outside the dragons, Stoick. Fifteen years of abuse aint erased in three months, and he’s afraid that we will shun him again if he fails... like we have the whole rest of his life. He feels this dragon training is his last chance to be accepted, and he’s so terrified of losing it that he really _will_ work himself to death.”

“Or… to suicide?”

“Same difference. He’d rather just end it then see his one chance at redemption fall away.”

Stoick was still silent, overwhelmed by the combined emotions of anger and sadness. He was infuriated, but not at anyone in particular, just at the situation. The situation _he_ created. What the hell had he done??

“Gods how can I keep doing this, Gobber? I failed him… right after I promised that I never would again.”

“You try, Stoick.”

“I _am_ trying! Not hard enough apparently!”

“This is a sharp transition to all of us, chief. Look at me, no one’s got any use anymore for all my, ehm, _dragon killing_ experience… and I still don’ know what I’ll be doin after everything is rebuilt. You know your place in life as chief, Astrid knows hers as a warrior, I need to find a new place of my own, but Hiccup is fearful of losing his. Go talk to him. Gently. Talk to him as your _son,_ not as heir or nuisance, or great dragon hero of berk… treat ‘im as yer boy for once.”

“ _As my boy…”_

“Yeah. I hope this wakes you up Stoick. The whole village for that matter.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, at Astrid’s insistance, he waited until nightfall to return home. He was a bit surprised and relieved to find Hiccup sleeping in Toothless’s wings. It made sense he’d just never seen it himself, and he had to admit it brightened his heart a little bit… even when toothless shot him a distinct ‘ _I will KILL YOU if you wake him up’_ glare. With that, he left the room, then retired to bed himself.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even without nightmares Stoick was always an early riser, came with being Chief. This morning he was up extremely early… but today he had no chiefing duties, as there was only one thing he cared about. He treaded lightly, as quietly as his giant form would allow as he ascended the stairs to his son’s room. Thinking about it… this had been the first time in _years_ that he’d been in his son’s room… it brought even more pain to his heart. Yes, he had respected Hiccup’s space, he’d always seen the room as his son’s sanctum… but the fact that Hiccup remained so secluded in there spoke volumes to the divide between his son and the village… and, himself. Seeing it now was obvious, but he hadn’t seen it. Hadn’t seen _many_ things. He opened the door slowly, just enough to note that Hiccup was awake before proceeding back down. He quickly grabbed a bowl by the fire and laydoled some hot soup into it. It was Val’s old recipe, Hiccup’s favorite. It felt so pathetic trying to win him back _now_ but Stoick had to start somewhere. He opened the door again, rousing the attention of Hiccup and toothless. As he walked to his bedside he had the chance to really take in Hiccup’s room for the first time, as last night it was too dark. It was so… _Hiccup._ Everything looked so disorganized on the surface, but if you stopped to look you see the method in the madness, an organization to the piles of papers and prototypes of Thor knows what. His eyes met Toothless's for a moment, the dragon again speaking volumes with his silence, but this time more trusting. The dragon was smart, and he knew that this conversation needed to happen… all the emotion needed to come out. Stoick offered the soup to Hiccup, who gestured to the end table next to his bed. With the air still heavy, Stoick finally spoke. Simultaneously with Hiccup.

“Hiccu---” “Dad---”

Stoick actually froze for a moment… what does he say? How does he apologize?

  
“I… I’m so sorry about what’s been happnin. I had no idea you were…”

With a resemblance of what happened earlier, Hiccup’s emotional dam burst and he poured all emotion into his words

“I told you I’m doing all I can!! I can’t stop the dragons from causing problems I tried and I tried!”

“Hiccup…”  
“I can’t possibly do any more! I can---”

“Shh, Shh, Shh, Hiccup slow down… look at all the _good_ things you’ve done.”  
“But all that’s meaningless! If the village turns on the dragons or vise versa---”

“What?”  
“If the village goes up in arms and kicks the dragons off it’ll be all pointless, right?”  
“Why would we kick the dragons off Berk? They---”

“Because of all the problems they’ve been causing! I just need more time to fix them!”  
  


Stoick actually had to pause a moment to comprehend what his son was saying.

“Son… how on Thor’s green Earth have you come to _that_ conclusion?”

“Don’t tell me you haven't seen dragon problems. Stealing food, starting fires, fighting, dragon droppings.”

“Actually no, I haven't seen any of those things. Okay maybe once, but not serious”

“Not serious?! The village is up in arms!”

“And you don’t think I would come to you if that were the case?”

“Uhh… yes??”

“But I don’t. I know you’ve been working very hard son, and you probably see these problems all day. It’s all your perspective, son.”

“So… you… you’re saying the village is not threatening to go to war again? Not going to banish the dragons?”

“Hell no. Let’s forget the companionship for a second, they are useful in almost every way. They keep houses warm, they help lift things, fish, and hunt pests. And that’s just the start.”

“Ohh.. oh, thank Thor…”

Stoick was shocked by that one phrase… it sounded so _relieved._ It sounded like he really did believe that the village was about to revolt again. Gods what had he done to his boy…

“Hiccup… this is not even what I wanted to talk about…”

The air of heavy silence returned. He moved a little closer to Hiccup… he wouldn’t dare call it a cuddle, but they were mighty close. He could tell by the way his son tensed exactly what he was thinking… what he was about to ask…

“ _Why…?_ ”

“I… I’ve disappointed you—“

“No! You have not.”

Stoick couldn’t help the loud retort, but instantly regretted his harshness. The tension slowly came back down, and Hiccup spoke first this time.

“Dad?”

“You are certainly no disappointment.”

“But all the problems… the fact that I—“

“Now you let _me_ be the judge of that. I’m proud of you son. I hope you will see that…”  
“But what about the rest of the village?”  
“The rest of- who's given you that impression??”  
“Well, there’s Mildew.”

“Mildew has it out for you. He’ll be exiled before too long, he’s been causing a lot of problems and not just with dragons.”

“There’s also Spitelout and Spitlout-”

“Who are deliberately trying to undermine you so the jorginson clan can take the chiefdom.”

“And Combore…”

“Combore the complainer, the name says it all. Look, if you look outside the small group of people who are always badgering you, the majority of the village still loves what you do.”

“But why is that? What have I…”

“(Sigh) Hiccup… you have done great things and I am very proud of you. The _village_ is very proud of you, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“But I havn’t—“

“And this is where you need to take a break. This is my fault, all our faults, but you’ve been working so hard that you cannot see the great work you’ve done.

“... Why do you care so much though? You’re chief…”

It took another silent moment for Stoick to compile his thoughts… the fact that he couldn’t keep his thoughts aligned and at least keep a straight face through all this really bothered him. It was again symbolic of the fractured relationship and how far they still had to come, all after he thought their relationship was healed. There was a huge disconnect between what Hiccup thought was happening, what he himself thought was happening, and what was actually happening… and it was only now that he realized that he created this rift.

“You know… when a limb is frostbitten you have to warm it up slowly, or the limb will die for good. I… I feel that’s a metaphor for you right now. You were mentally frostbitten when you came back, still healing… and we just threw you in the fire…”

Hiccup didn’t really respond to that, simply not having anything to say. Stoick didn’t really have anything to say either and he tried to think of some closure as they both stared absently at the wall. 

“Two weeks.”

“Huh?”

“Two weeks, Hiccup. Gimme two more weeks and I’ll promise… things will be different. I’ll work with you, work with the riders work with everyone else to make your life more bearable. If we haven't changed at the end of two weeks then you and Toothless will have every right and reason to leave this Odin forsaken village. You deserve a better future… whether that be here, or elsewhere.”

Hiccup looked up slightly, but Stoick was unsure of his reaction. Toothless perked up a bit at least. Figuring there was nothing more he could say or do, he reached out his hand...

“Deal, son?”

Fin.


End file.
